On to Greener Pastures

I figured that this is the best way to tell you all what's been going on in my life because it's been really hard for me this past month or so, and I don't want to have to tell my story over and over (I get really emotional..imagine that), so this is my solution.

So I put my two weeks notice in today, and it was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I've been having a lot of problems there, and I just feel like it's time for me to move on. The hardest part about it all is that I LOVE my managers- I consider them friends- and I knew that I was going to hurt them by leaving.

Mike and I talked about it, and we decided that I wouldn't wait until after Christmas to quit, and that sooner would be better. You see, I was suppose to take over the assistant manager's job while she went on maternity leave, and now they have time to find someone else before she leaves.

So after a sleepless night, and getting up early to pray, pray, pray, I went to work. I decided that I would tell my managers at the end of my shift, so I spent all day with my stomach in knots. Whenever I felt my anxiety taking over, I'd just go to the back room and pray that the Lord would give me strength. I honestly have never been so scared. I know it may seem stupid to get worked up over something like a part time job, but I just couldn't seem to calm myself down.

At around 4:30, I told my manager that I needed to talk to her and Becky (who was coming in at 5), and she looked at me and said, "is it bad?". And I just looked at her. She said "you're quitting, aren't you". And I knew I had to tell her then and there, and I just told her that this was such a hard decision, and that I'm so sorry that I was doing this in the middle of the busiest season we have, but I had to leave because of personal reasons. You guys, she was SOO understanding, and so wonderful about it. She told my assistant manager, and she also was so nice about it. So I told them that I would stay on until next Friday, and then I'd be leaving. I was so relieved that it went well, but I know that there will be some fall outs in the next week and a half with other employees, and I know my managers will get stressed and take some of that stress out on me- but I'm prapared for that.

I left work tonight with a ton of mixed feelings. Peace because I knew I did the right thing. Guilt for leaving at such an inopportune time. Tired because I hadn't slept the night before. Relieved that they took it so well. And foolish for being so scared about it.

But I'll sleep well tonight, I know that. I'm going to take some time off and let myself heal before I find another job...I'll start looking beginning of December. I don't want you guys to think that I'm being lazy by doing this, but I really need time to get my feet back under me, and really figure out what to do with my life- with my career...

So that's what's goin on... thanks for your prayers and concerns. I love you all so much, and I ask that you continue to pray for me over the next few weeks!

Much Love!